need to blog

I was encouraged to start writing due to anxiety and panic attacks.

I will write whatever is on my mind just to get it out - not hurting others ofcourse-

I'm back in school being a nurse. I feel insecure and bad about myself for no reason. I miss my family and I miss Rogelio. I wish I could marry him tomorrow!

Last night I had a panic attack and thought I was having a heart attack. My blood pressure was over 140 and my heart rate was up. There was this tight pain in my chest and I couldn't breathe. It was the worse thing I had ever felt. I really thought I was going to die.

This is my weakness but am learning to control. I WILL NOT RUN AWAY (because that's what you all think I do) I will stand and fight. Friends reccomended I go to a counsellor and I might also do some yoga and prayer stuff. Being trapped in panic and anxiety is like being in a prison.

I just want to be free somehow.
For all those saying oh just snap out of it...it's real and it's a sickness. look it up.

Don't look down on me and call me weak.

I hope to blog everyday now.